You aren’t supposed to fall in love with guys who were used as a Prop to rob you. Unless you are chronically pre-disposed to inappropriate affection. William reconnecting with me on Meta on 2026. Was simply not? On my Bingo card. Then me screwing it up immediately also not on my card. He let me get away from the toxic ex that wanted to rob me. He also has rejected me multiple times in the process so he is the very definition of an insecure connection.

William’s Psychopathic trait: I had to remember this and then use it to get away from him. He is triggered by adults with anxiety. In Overly enmeshed people? It means they think you are lying. In regular people? It means you have ADHD you F*** moron! I’m not doing anything with anyone who has this trait.

However… How he was used and treated? Right now I need space for my own well being. However if there came a time I was idealized from previously meeting. Cause he had been since living a life of Post I would weigh showing up for him with my own heart in mind. I don’t love being rejected and discarded. I am pretty tired currently. I don’t hate William. This story is too long and too bizzare for that.

I sent this message out in mass. I need a break from the complex intimacy circuit. AKA I am taking a break from dating or even hooking up. It wasn’t just my inappropriate love for William that is weighing on me? It’s that I couldn’t even really enjoy reconnecting. Cause after years of online dating? I am just desperate.

I am not just on a 73 day Jogging streak. I am on a streak of making an ass of myself with gay men. Let’s take a long break. Cause the Ashton Deroy chasing love thing…. It looks more & more like mental illness even to me.

Like ever wonder why I am not dating? It’s because I can’t be crazy anymore. In Romantic comedies you are a romantic. In real life? Ashton Deroy You are a fool maxing out your credit card to meet some gay guy with no education, no emotional development and nothing to offer you. Yet because of 1 long in person conversation you were ready to put everything in your life down and run to Brampton Ontario. That’s insane!

I’m not a bold romantic. I am a gross desperate person who the stench radiates off.

Message received clearly. Why the hell did William have to reconnect with me? I promise my old intimate connections. I will screw up connecting with you. Let’s save ourselves the trouble.

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